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Indelible

by Knight of Swords

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Mousechrist
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aengen
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Caroline Cannistra
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1.
Chalk Cliffs 06:58
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Looking down from commanding heights Atop the cliffs of chalk Looking down from commanding heights to the sea of ice A strong feeling of vertigo I shiver, alone Freezing wind It beckons me to let go Grey skies above and the smell of rain A cold breeze, sharp and crisp And the mirrors at the bottom of the cliff Telling me to let go
2.
The Perfect Scum 05:32
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You won't be satisfied until you kill us all This accident of birth damns us Slaughter us like cattle, get off scot free They rely on people like you Boneheads who'll do what they're told Adored by the press Loyal servants to a genocidal slave empire Good little boys who love their countries make The perfect scum to lick their boots Wave your flag til you can shoot your gun All for a pat on the head and a treat Middlebrow art, middle-class kitsch Purity can't buy taste So pathetic and disgusting
3.
Sea of Ice 07:24
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The receding clouds reveal the jagged waves Frozen sea and a frozen body falling down I'm already a corpse Awaiting dissolution But my release isn't at hand Sea of ice Sea of ice Sea of ice Sea of ice Sea of ice As I land on the ice-tomb The splinters crack my skin The blood gushes out But it's as cold as the corpse Sea of ice Sea of ice Sea of ice Sea of ice The ice opens up and the water pulls me down My instincts betray me but the blood is on my side After a futile attempt by the body To free itself back into the bondage of life I succumb and await release beneath the waves Sea of ice Sea of ice Sea of ice Sea of ice Sea of ice Sea of ice Sea of ice Sea of ice
4.
Annihilation Express 05:44
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Wake up in a railway carriage Speeding through the factory of destruction Bodies mangled and the screams of children Every instant I think we'll finally leave But the factory encompasses all Every moment I feel years older Just a little more glued to the seat And the furtive eyes behind the screens Penetrate more and more Please hit the brakes, I want out Please hit the brakes, I want out Please hit the brakes, I want out Please hit the brakes, I want out But the carriage doesn't decelerate The emergency brakes snap off in hand and The pace only gets faster and faster As the smog clouds the windows And the cliff approaches All that we can hope for is The inevitable without pain
5.
Lands Beyond 06:58
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Wouldn't it be nice to exit oneself? I stare at the mirror waiting to change The white-hot core feels like ice now I wish to escape this cage of flesh Am I still young yet? 21 is too late I'm falling behind and slowing down And I feel so old inside my bones I'll never get to embody who I am If I could die without pain I'd gladly do so But the risk of failure too great The certainty of suffering even in death It'd just be another futile gesture In a lifetime of futile gestures Like the dove who found no green Back to the darkness Am I still young yet? 21 is too late I'm falling behind and slowing down And I feel so old inside my bones I'll never get to embody who I am Turning from mirror to window Overlooking a featureless grey sound The shore is entirely empty Waiting for the ferry to the lands beyond
6.
Dispersed, Distrustful, and Hollow 09:51
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Alone in a featureless landscape Supposedly a city All is sanitized All is hollow The living shall envy the dead The living already envy the dead The living shall envy the dead The living already envy the dead The living shall envy the dead The living already envy the dead Time is no longer on our side Yet we're in worse shape than ever I thought there'd be more to it, I really did But now I stand, alone and joyless Too distant from those around me What does anybody do for fun? I wish I could tell you there was more to it I wish I knew The living shall envy the dead The living already envy the dead The living shall envy the dead The living already envy the dead The living shall envy the dead The living already envy the dead Time is no longer on our side Yet we're in worse shape than ever Empty, built-up blocks are common Haunted by the ghosts of the dislocated And there's no fraction left To challenge terms of existence Too dispersed, too distrustful The land, too hollow The living shall envy the dead The living already envy the dead The living shall envy the dead The living already envy the dead The living shall envy the dead The living already envy the dead Time is no longer on our side Yet we're in worse shape than ever Still, to withdraw is folly
7.
Dancing 06:36
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I honestly didn't expect to go this far I didn't plan to live this long All is moving past me All motion is illegitimate For years, I swore off dancing I eventually relented But it seems that my reversal came too late I'm clumsy and repellent Just as I suspected And it's no fun to dance alone Despite this loneliness Despite the boredom Despite our imminent doom I still find it hard to act any different I still pretend there's hope where there's none Everything else would just spiral downwards Yet this lie to myself, this lie to all else I can't keep it up much longer I can't stay the course much longer I should have left this world long ago Hanging on by a string to a green bridge
8.
Collapse I 08:10
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9.
Torschlusspanik 08:18
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I always knew deep inside That it would end like this Alone and without accomplishment The gate is closing I must sleep outside the walls Exposed to night dangers Chained to a domicile I wish I could escape But I'd be at the open sea Without a vest or a raft As time passes, everyone leaves It's not to be condemned But reaching out and connecting Is both difficult and taboo All the doors are closing How will I stay alive? I don't want to be a parasite If only one could sleep forever No pain or chance of failure I can't see a better way out All my tears seem so fake Just the crocodile's hypocrisy My throat is parched My lips are dry I will never feel free and entire The gate is closing I must sleep outside the walls Exposed to night dangers All the doors are closing How will I stay alive? I don't want to be a parasite If only one could sleep forever No pain or chance of failure I can't see a better way out All my tears seem so fake Just the crocodile's hypocrisy My throat is parched My lips are dry I will never feel free and entire The gate is closing I must sleep outside the walls Exposed to night dangers All the doors are closing How will I stay alive? I don't want to be a parasite
10.
Collapse II 09:33
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11.
Indelible 05:22
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This stain in my velvet will never come out The stench will remain forever and ever I've tried everything and still it stays I'll never be rid of the smell of vanity I'll never escape the charge of hypocrisy I'll never be able to demonstrate empathy Never leave this selfish ego behind This cowardice behind I'll never feel quite at home Nor complete or free or successful I wish that I could go back and change the past But I can't be sure that then I'd learn to be a better person This stain in my velvet will never come out The stench will remain forever and ever I've tried everything and still it stays I'll never be rid of the smell of vanity I'll never escape the charge of hypocrisy I'll never be able to demonstrate empathy Never leave this selfish ego behind This cowardice behind At the precipice I stand, and I see the frozen sea The lone organ-man from the dark snowy woods I wouldn't have it any other way May the world perish in ice Frost is better than fire

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released October 8, 2017

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Knight of Swords Seattle, Washington

Gothic music project of a woman and her synths

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